i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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