Whod you bang
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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