I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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