so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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