I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
