he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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