Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
