she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
