I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
