He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
