I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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