After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
