I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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