apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
