I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
