I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
we're so committed to being not committed
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
