they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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