did you get engaged???
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
