new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
