At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
