she looked like the before picture.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The Olympian is in my bed
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
