i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
