So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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