never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
