Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Boobs are out for the taking
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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