yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize