This is not my ceiling
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
