What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
