Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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