Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
