Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
