I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Damn victory sex feels great
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
