hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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