just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
