I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
