can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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