Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
