I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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