did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
