and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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