Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
