my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
