I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
