i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
