I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
