what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
