I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is my gift to your gina
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
