google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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