You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
