I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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